April 27, 2005

Hello Couples,

Do you remember saying something like this on your wedding day: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (wife/husband). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I wonder if we really understood what we were saying back then. Whether we realized it or not, we were saying that no matter what, whether we had a great friendship or we had a tough time being around each other, whether we had more money than we knew what to do with or we did not know where our next meal was going to come from, whether one of us contracted a serious illness or we were healthy as horses.  I will love you, I will stay with you, I will continue, I will carry on, I will be determined, I will hang tough, I will hold fast, I will keep going, I will plug away, I will pursue you, I will stand firm, I will stick to it, I will stick around, I will persevere all the days of my life. That is what you said, didn't you?

In order to follow through with this commitment, we need to persevere. According to 1 Cor. 13:7, "Love always perseveres." It does not look back or turn from that which was promised. Love endures all things. To persevere means to persist in or remain constant to a purpose, idea, or task in the face of obstacles or discouragement. Have you ever been convinced of a goal or purpose and nothing was going to stand in the way? An Olympic athlete understands that nothing can stand in the way if they are going to get the gold.

The average Olympian trains four hours a day at least 310 days a year for six years before succeeding. Perseverance paid off for one Olympian named Wilma Rudolph. She first battled a bout with polio. After seven years of painful therapy, she could walk with braces. At age 12, she tried out for a girls basketball team, but didn't make it. She spent the next year practicing and made the team that year. At age 14, she had outrun the fastest sprinters in the U.S. In 1956, she made the U.S. Olympic team. In 1960, she won three gold medals, the most a woman had ever won. Our purpose and commitment to one another is to go the distance in our marriages. Are there going to be obstacles?  You bet. Are there going to be discouragements?   Bank on it. But I am convinced, that if we stay the course, run the entire race, we will triumph. I heard that triumph is just umph added to try. Hebrews 12:1 reminds us to run our race with perseverance and never give up. An anonymous quote says, "that we are judged by what we finish, not by what we start".

What if we are in those good times, or we are richer and in good health, is there a need to persevere? I have heard it said, "that if you are coasting, you are going down hill". In order for our marriages to be going up hill, we need to be exercising or working on our relationships as well. I know of situations where too much money has caused significant issues in some relationships. It is easier for all of us to let our guard down when things seem to be going good. I believe we need to be aware that it is not only the bad times that should cause us to persevere but also those good times. On March 6, 1987, Eamon Coughlan, the Irish world record holder at 1500 meters, was running in a qualifying heat at the World Record Indoor Track Championships in Indianapolis. With two and a half laps left, he was tripped. He fell, but he got back up and with great effort, managed to catch the leaders. With only 20 yards left in the race, he was in third place-good enough to qualify for the finals. He looked over his shoulder to the inside, and seeing no one, he let up. But another runner, charging hard on the outside, passed him a yard before the finish line, thus eliminating him from the finals. Its tempting to let up when the sights around us look favorable. The key is to keep our eyes on the goal of: I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Have a great week,

Ed